Kylz78 :: Recent Entries

Title:	Fear
Date:	2009-11-05 @ 17:38
Security:	public

Fear [feer]
–noun
1.
a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
2.
a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights.
3.
that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid.
4.
to regard with fear; be afraid of.
5.
to have fear; be afraid.

Fear of the unknown.
Afraid I've made a terrible mistake.
Scared I'll never have the chance to be a wife (again) and mother.
Worried I have ruined not only mine, but someone else's life.
Concerned I am a bad influence on others & will end up pushing them away.
Anxious That I am not nearly as strong as others believe I am.
Frightened Of being alone.
Dreading The unknown of what tomorrow may bring.

The should have/ could have/ would have's - always making me second guess my every action.
Trying to keep a brave face for public viewing- whilst inside I am an emotional rollercoaster.
Realising that -yes, I really am standing on my own two feet now, like a toddler learning to walk, it's all about baby steps.
So very exciting, daunting yet so freakingly exciting all at once.

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Title:	Glue
Date:	2009-11-05 @ 17:28
Security:	public

Glue

I know what you say when I’m not around,

I hear it from all the others.

You wait – I’ll get my own

I’ll show you what I’m made of.

One of us will fall,

And what a sight it will be

How much you wanna bet

It ain’t gonna be me.

Remember what they say about glass houses?

Well it’s time to put the rocks away.

Stop blowing smoke up my arse,

Man up and tell me the truth

Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

No-one thinks you’re funny

No-one thinks you’re cool...

Matter of fact

Pretty much everyone thinks you’re a tool.

You’re a scumbag, a cunt, a loser, a liar.

Truth be told,

I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you

I wish you would die.

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Title:	Black Dog
Topics:	depression
Date:	2009-09-29 @ 09:09
Security:	public
Location:	Right here, beside you
Music:	"Revenge" ~ Mindless Self Indulgence
Mood:	contemplative

Sitting.

Waiting.

Staring, eyes unblinking.

It lurks in the shadows,

Out of visions range.

You sense it,

Feel it, taste it,

Know it’s coming.

See it dancing in the shadows.

Your heart starts pounding.

It launches,

Attacks,

Biting, snarling,

Ripping, tearing,

You heart, your soul

Darkness surrounds

You fight, you yell.

The struggle begins.

Sobbing, weary.

Battered, broken.

You look up to see

A glimmer of light on the way.

A sign of hope, of love.

It stalks away.

Slightly weaker, beaten again.

It prepares for the next round.

Knowing, taunting.

....

Sitting.

Waiting.

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